June 19 2012

I know I've ignored my blog for a while, but I've had a few excuses. One, I've been super conflicted lately about dance and all, but aren't I always? Watching Amish, Out Of Order and their modest dresses and head coverings makes me want to be more feminine. Quite honestly, I love wearing ankle length dresses and skirts. It makes me feel so modest and pretty. I don't think that's pride, just contentment that I feel like I'm pleasing Yahweh. I've been thinking lately about my dance teacher and classmates. She's always been so kind and understanding, and when my family has gone through financial hardship, she has always been able to figure out a "payment plan" (that sounds so "offical", but you know what I mean). So, I've been thinking about what's going to happen when I don't enroll again (if so). I was wondering if writing a letter to my teacher (who'll I call Mrs. B.), explaining my actions, would help. She's only seen me in a head covering and a dress thing once, but that was a year ago and I'm not sure if she really noticed. I'm sorry I keep repeating my woes and conflicts with wanting to take dance again. I know I'm being hypocritical, but it's been difficult. It's been ingrained in my life. BTW, my teacher makes sure our dances are clean. At Nationals last week, my dad commented how our studio was "classy", and he said he was disappointed with the other competing studios' dances. He's not trying to be mean, but he said something along the lines of the other dances were "raunchy". I've never wore a bra or underwear before as a costume. The lowest necked thing I've wore is a v-neck, but it covers my area pretty well. Thanks to all those who keep me in their prayers. Hopefully Yahweh will show me the way that He wants me to follow. PS Please keep my sister in prayer. While we were gone to Panama City Beach, one of her two cats, Rose, died. Rose had a bad flea allergy, and things we did weren't working as well. She died Thursday, I believe. My sister cried, and I will admit, I did do. Also pray for the other car, Sandy. They were together for a few good years, around 4 or 5.