June 19 2012

I know I've ignored my blog for a while, but I've had a few excuses. One, I've been super conflicted lately about dance and all, but aren't I always? Watching Amish, Out Of Order and their modest dresses and head coverings makes me want to be more feminine. Quite honestly, I love wearing ankle length dresses and skirts. It makes me feel so modest and pretty. I don't think that's pride, just contentment that I feel like I'm pleasing Yahweh. I've been thinking lately about my dance teacher and classmates. She's always been so kind and understanding, and when my family has gone through financial hardship, she has always been able to figure out a "payment plan" (that sounds so "offical", but you know what I mean). So, I've been thinking about what's going to happen when I don't enroll again (if so). I was wondering if writing a letter to my teacher (who'll I call Mrs. B.), explaining my actions, would help. She's only seen me in a head covering and a dress thing once, but that was a year ago and I'm not sure if she really noticed. I'm sorry I keep repeating my woes and conflicts with wanting to take dance again. I know I'm being hypocritical, but it's been difficult. It's been ingrained in my life. BTW, my teacher makes sure our dances are clean. At Nationals last week, my dad commented how our studio was "classy", and he said he was disappointed with the other competing studios' dances. He's not trying to be mean, but he said something along the lines of the other dances were "raunchy". I've never wore a bra or underwear before as a costume. The lowest necked thing I've wore is a v-neck, but it covers my area pretty well. Thanks to all those who keep me in their prayers. Hopefully Yahweh will show me the way that He wants me to follow. PS Please keep my sister in prayer. While we were gone to Panama City Beach, one of her two cats, Rose, died. Rose had a bad flea allergy, and things we did weren't working as well. She died Thursday, I believe. My sister cried, and I will admit, I did do. Also pray for the other car, Sandy. They were together for a few good years, around 4 or 5.

I Am Not Comfortable In Shorts

( I cut out some of the pic to respect the other girl's privacy. )

Do you see these shorts? They are pulled up a wee bit, but is it appropiate for me to show this.much leg?

[i] No [/i]

The outfit itself is immodest, and as I try and immerse myself in more Godlier things and talk to modest women and teens, my desire to dance slides away. This makes me happy. :) I am not taking again after the Jume competition is over, so that's two more months until I am finally free of the worldly, immodest things I have had to wear for performances.

I felt a little conflicted about uploading this pic, but if I am letting a lot of total strangers at the performances see this, why not let my readers see this?

I am by no means perfect, we all stumble. But it's time for me to accept the fact that Yahweh wishes for me to be a Godly, modest teen.

posted from Bloggeroid

A Wide Headband...for now

The reason I have chosen to wear ( most of the time ) headband until the next two months of dance are ovee is this.

I don't want people looking at me and saying. " She wears a head covering but dances in those outfits?! " This wide headband in the above pic ( it's black ) doesn't make such a big statement like the scarf does.

Though, I have to admit, I love wearing head coverings ( that cover a lot of my head/hair ) so much that I sometimes do put on a scarf. ( Wish I had a veil...oh well, maybe one day. :) )

Yahweh bless. :)

posted from Bloggeroid

Some Thoughts...

I was looking around for modest clothing and such today, and I thought back to the dancing I do. It may cover the " necessaries ", but I want to cover more. I know that sometimes I may look like ( to others ) that I came from Little House on The Prairie, but there's nothing wrong with a female being feminine.

I just thought of something: I was at the competition, and I was waiting for awards. I had bought a bag of Skittles and a can of Coke. When I had sat down on the stairs, I had been eating a little bit before I looked back behind me a bit, and saw a man looking at me. UGH! See, there were benches up against the walls, and there were some guys sitting there. I don't remember the age of the guy looking at me, it was a bit weird, I guess.

I think back to the fact that we do not need to cause our brothers in Christ....or any man for that matter, to stumble. We need to be careful and mindful of how we dress. I'm not saying you have to cover everything ( unless it is your personal conviction for you to do so ) but let's not go to church in a miniskirt, let's not parade ourselves down the streets in clothing that we know will draw a man's ( or mens' ) attention. You will attract the wrong kind of people most likely if you do that. And using your body to draw someone's attention, is that Godly behavior? How does God describe a woman's behavior in the Bible? Go look, then see if your choice of outfit for the day matches up with it. God bless.

My Life

Honestly, my mind is drawing a blank. I can't think of what would make a good blog post! :/

Ok, maybe a life update.

I got the rough draft of my essay done.....Dad is on meds for his heart ( please pray for him. ).......April is my birthday, and I will be performing with my dance class at the Bloomin' Festival.....recital is May....Nationals in June....

Did I mention that next school year I will hopefully be a high-school home-schooler? :) I may take a placement test...... ( Though I doubt I'll be capable of doing 9th grade Math, maybe 7th or 8th. )

:)I have been meaning to make another video for my Youtube channel, but I have to be the only one in the house when that happens!

Just letting y'all know I haven't completely forgotten Youtube. ;)

Lately I have been thinking about the dance studio I attend and the immodest costumes we are to wear.

( Did I mention that we placed 1st in our catogory in tap? :) )

I think that I have been de-sensitized to the ICs until I came to wear feminine, modest clothing in my life away from dance. Wearing FMCs now, I am more aware of the immodesty to which we are subjected to.

It's amazing how we view things according to our beliefs. Some may not blink an eye at someone wearing a mini-skirt, but others certainly would!

•sighs•But I had fun at Jacksonville.

(Any advice on how to explain to my dance friends if they want to get into a conversation about dance after I no longer attend? How will I explain? )

Immodest Costumes, Part 1

I have decided to upload of pics of my immodest dance costumes I've worn.
Booty shorts ( Thank you God I don't have to wear them again! )

You see how daddgum short these things are?! Ack! Yahweh forgive me....


I will try and upload the pic of the costume for my jazz routine later.

Something I Wouldn't Want To Admit To Others

Ick, I've had strep since Saturday, and today I'm finally feeling " totally here " and not " like I'm floating around in a dream ". ( <----the last feeling probably came from the cough medicene I took. ) Sunday was probably the worst day, but today I'm feeling well enough to do some more chores, lol.

I realized that I would be ashamed to admit ( and wouldn't want to admit ) to modest-dressing females ( or anyone for that matter! ) that I'm a dancer. I know I'm a hypocrite, yet I know my confession would change other's view of me dramatically.

Anyway, competition is next month. These next five ( possibly four if we don't qualify for Nationals ) months are going to be fun, I hope. I just feel shamed now everytime I think of our immodest costumes, argh! :( I hate the feeling of being trapped.

Watching these figure skaters makes me want to keep performing! Augh!

Watching ice skating on TV makes me wonder if I should really continue to pursue this " extreme " modest clothing thing and just keep performing until I'm 18. Seeing Ashley Wagner ice skate is inspiring, LOL.

Yet I know that not wearing my modest dress and head coverings would grate on my conscience. Two, financially it would help my parents ( despite what they say ) if I didn't do dance again after this dance year ends. Three, I'm asthmatic, and even though I've danced all these years, it's relentless.

I recall when we were practicing before we went on stage last year for recital, and the dance we were practicing was tap. Tap has especially been excruciating on my lungs, but I can usually get through it and take a puff of my inhaler when I'm done. But while we were practicing, I couldn't finish out the end, I was too out of breath. I raced to my bag and got my inhaler. :/

Jazz, one of my all-time favorites, hasn't been nice to my lungs either, but I've dealt with it best I can. My parents love it when I perform, and in making this decision not to take dance again, I wonder if my dad doubts my seriousness in my decision.

I don't know if I go into asthma attacks or not when I get off stage or I finish practicing. I don't have a good idea of what an asthma attack really is, because most of them have occurred in my sleep, and I've only woke up twice during them. ( I can't dinguish the difference between just being out of breath and experiencing a full-blown asthma attack unless I'm waking up while I have one. )

Anyway, enough explaination about my current state of health, I need prayer: Pray that watching performances won't tempt me into continuing dance for a few more years. This is becoming harder.

Thanks. :) And may Yahweh bless your day, your family, and your life.

Dance

I am now firm in my decision to make this my last dance year. There have been some doubts since I first came to the decision, but now, I feel that my decision is right.

If we qualify for Nationals, this dance year will last until June, which is when we'll perform. If we don't, the last dance month will be in May, when we have our recital.